Cracked Barrel, Addams Family Style

Arrived, at a rather desolate version of this well known eating establishment.  The place was rather empty for a Saturday night.  Most of the employees sitting on the back step hanging out.  Might have been Uncle Fester’s kin.  An episode of Courage the cowardly dog could have been filmed here.  Why yes something creepy was a foot.


Once inside and walking up to the “greeting station”.  A family looked like have been waiting till their o were hanging impatiently staring for someone to let them in.  We joined in behind like the unsuspecting fools we were.

Then, appearing out of nowhere was a man the likes of Lurch from the Addams Family, yet 90 year old version with one foot on deaths door.  No words were spoken, not even “you rang”.  I’ve seen more welcoming faces on a bottle of arsenic.  Slowly he guided us to a table like this was our last meal.

Our waitress soon arrived handing us menus.  The families one normal daughter perhaps.  A bright spot maybe in an otherwise dark arena.

An ant appeared on the corner of our table.  Scurrying off like Thing as I tried to remove it.  Poor guy, probably didn’t want to be there either.

One could imagine Morticia was behind the scenes running the show behind those closed doors.

Ordering coffee, it arrived rather lukewarm. I drank it anyway as it seemed fitting for such an establishment.

My meal, if it could talk would have said why would you ever come here?  The eggs almost got up and walked off my plate they were so undercooked.  The chicken who laid those eggs would have been pissed and asked to speak to the manager.

 I guess after enduring the rest of the experience I was in for whatever this place could throw at me.  Kind of like running a marathon after mile 20.  You’re in to finish even if it kills melll.

Eventually the experience came to a conclusion after paying good money for all that.  

As a veteran of many endurance events I believe I should have received a finishers medal as I walked out the door for surviving till the end.  Oh Cracked Barrel, what has become of you?  

The Waffle House close by, on a bad day, offers a 5 star experience in comparison.  Even if the cook was smoking a cigarette.

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